So I feel now is the right time to continue my blogging journey, I apologise I have been absent for a few months but yet again it has been a rollercoaster.
Please read part 1,2,3 before you begin this one…
Just as we signed the dreaded IVF forms on the 4th of Dec, walking out the hospital doors with tears in my eyes, I was not able to make eye contact with my husband, my stomach felt empty and I was now offically failing every part of been a wife & a women.
12 month wait list, are you serious? pfttt…. then ill be 36 starting the process, this is what kept going round & round in my head.
As we flew to Ireland on the 29th Dec for my sister in laws wedding, we decided to wait until the new year to go back tracking and testing so I could enjoy the wedding in proper Irish style drinking along with our trip to Dubai as I wanted to swim with dolphins and do the desert 4wd tour.
Sat 9th Dec, as we were packng up to go away with mates for the weekend to the beautiful beach town of Jurien bay, Western Australia for Paddys suprise skydive, yes AFTER my ovulation date it happened. Looking back now confirming all my doubts of the ovulation timing the hospital gave me for the 6months of fertility treatment costing us alot of money and not been successful was just money down the drain if you ask me.
The day my periods were due I took a test which resulted in a negative but deep down like the other times I questioned it as I felt like a pro after 4years of tests and symptoms. All that week I was falling asleep at 4pm and sweating and felt awful but not the normal pregnancy symptoms for me. So on the 23rd Dec, the day after my periods were due I took another test and walked off to feed my fur babies with the instinct it would be positive and yes it was.
Eekkkkkkk….. What now?
We were flying home in exactly a week and with the timing I would miscarriage in Ireland or Dubai. So I called the hospital straight away and the asked me to go in for bloods and would continue to monitor me til we fly to ensure its not ectopic like the complications in pregnancy #4. They suggested I cancel my flight home as it would be very dangerous if I was overseas and it resulted in an ectopic pregnancy. My sister in law only gets married once and if I miscarry at home it would be nice to have my mothers TLC just once.
As we arrived in Ireland we knew we had to tell families as it was NYE and the wedding and anyone who knows me would not buy the lie of me not drinking.
Yes my mother cried as I suprised her going home early along with being pregnant followed by bringing her on a 3day hotel break for new years eve leaving the morning after. The whole trip in Ireland for the 10days was hotel spa breaks with family and friends but feeling nausea, tired, headaches, jetlag & anxiety.
As we boarded the flight to Dubai, I was exhausted after a few days of no sleep with the wedding events, I went to the toilet on the plane to find I was bleeding, It was the worst feeling I couldnt breathe and stop crying, paddy was worried and I spend whole flight in and outta toilet checking had it stopped. It was awful I was exhausted and felt so guilty for not looking after myself that weekend.
We queued for customs in Dubai, I was so weak and dizzy and thought I was going to faint. We arrived at the hotel and asked them could they help us with the nearest hospital, As we were staying at The Atlantis, which is once in a lifetime experience it upset me even more as this was going to ruin our trip. Over the 5 days in Dubai I was spot bleeding, throwing up every morning, really dizzy, headaches and tired. I went to the bathroom every half hour praying the bleeding had stopped. I thought we would never get back to Perth to scan to confirm if I had miscarried.
We had booked the spa, swimming with dolphins and other tours but as the hotel knew my circumstances they were so strict with me and the only thing I was allowed to do was the dolphin photoshoot. (I will do a blog on The Atlantis hotel shortly)
The morning of the dolphins I was throwing up right up until we entered the water it was awful. I was so pale. All my life ive loved dolphins and have wanted to look good in the photos to get them framed, but no this was not the time.
It was time to go back to the airport and return to Perth, the first 3hours of the flight I was throwing up, the air hostess gave me ginger ale to try help as his wife just had a baby he was very sympathetic.
We finally got home at 2am and went straight to the hospital at 7am to get scanned to confirm if I had lost another baby.
NO! ” you will have to wait til Tues for a scan”
I was so upset at the system, this is a hospital that specialises in miscarriages and ectopic pregnancy and they dont have a sonographer on duty at weekends.
So her advice was ” Go home and get some sleep”
To be continued next mon…
Enjoy your week and thank you for following.